Starting over..

I guess that there is some sort of obligation to address the whole idea of the new year. 'New year, new me' and all that stuff. Don't get me wrong; there is something romantic about the new year. So much excitement and anticipation for things to change. It just seems like most people forget that the new year is just another year.. things won't change until you change.

And change is hard.

I haven't decided if it's more difficult to experience total change, where nothing is the same at all. Or attempt to change things while everything around you stays the same. Addicts are told that they need to completely change their lives in order to increase their chance of success for complete rehabilitation. Aren't we all addicts, though? Addicted to drama, or love. Addicted to feeling badly and continuing these cycles incessantly. Maybe change has to be complete.. as my estranged husband said to me just the other day, "Maybe we needed to burn everything to the ground in order to build something new."


Everything has changed.. and everything still looks and feels the same. I guess that's what is so lovely about a new year. The calendar rolls over and it's easier to map the time.. to see how long it takes for things to change or how long it takes for you to realize some things will never change. 

Time. We never have enough.